Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Flash Fiction Blogfest



Here are the rules:
1. Entries must begin with the two words: Lightning flashed.
2. Entries must be 300 words or less and be in prose. I'm not versed enough in poetry verse to judge it properly.
3. Entries must be posted on your blog between May 21 - 23.
4. You must sign up in the linky to have your entry be counted.
If you want to join in, the host of the blogfest is located here: Cherie Reich's blog.

Here's my entry; the mind of a thirteen year old boy; from Unsurvive


Lightning flashed across the countryside, bringing to life the unstill night. A pod of creepers move from one house to the next in the distance, I'm assuming, scavenging for whatever living creature roams in their path.

Down on the road a few stragglers shuffle by. They’re grotesque but I can’t help but stare from the second story window.
Nahlani stirs in the large bed, probably searching for me but I can’t sleep. She hasn’t cried out for mom yet but it’ll happen. A day hasn’t gone by without her crying for her.

Alexis’ arms cocoon Kylar in the smaller bed we stole for the room across the hall. Both are snoring.

We haven’t slept in real beds for – how many days now? I can’t remember. The days run together. If mom was still around I’m sure she’d know what day it was.
How could she have left us? I don’t understand. She said she would be right back. She promised.

I told her to take her gun but she wouldn’t. It’s all her fault; leaving me in charge. I’m not even old enough to take care of myself.

At least I kept my promise and left our house if she wasn’t back within twenty-four hours. Unfortunately I lost the piece of paper she gave me with the directions to Nanny and Papa’s house.
Now we're in some stranger’s house.

We finished barring up the windows and doors to keep the passing creepers out. The previous owner started but something bad must have happened.

We think the creeper, Alexis killed in the barn, must have been him.

The horses we took from the barn are sleeping in the living room for now. Horses in the living room – mom would not approve. But then again she’s not here is she.

35 comments:

  1. *shivers* Creepy! Oh, I should've known you'd go with the zombies :)

    but thank you for saving the horses!!!

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  2. Ooh very good! I love how you've put a lot of information in such a short entry, and you've really set the scene :)

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  3. Zombies? Yes, please!
    Love the voice!

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  4. Very creepy! I love your last line.

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  5. Yes, there is a ton of info here... but I'm not so sure about the fate of the horses. What are they going to eat when they run out of food? :-)

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  6. Great Zombie story. Pushed to lead at such a young age, a classic tale. I loved the image of the horses in the living room. Thanks for sharing.

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  7. *skin crawls* Excellent story! (Since I have horses, I'm in your debt) You write well. Thanks for sharing. *waves*

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  8. Zombies? Yes, please!
    Love the voice!!!

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  9. Eek! You raise lots of good questions--how did the "creepers" get there? What will happen to the kids? etc. Good questions, because that's what makes us want to read more. :)

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  10. Woah, post apoloclyptic awesomeness. Those creepers... *shivers* I can tell she is going to have to be strong, and will have many dangers to face. love it!!

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  11. Very atmospheric. You pack a lot of info into a few words.

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  12. I love the creepy atmosphere and how the horses were saved. I read a book awhile ago about a real-life house horse (who has since been put down).

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  13. Thank you for entering my 2nd Annual Flash Fiction Blogfest! The six finalists will be announced on Friday, May 25th. I will further comment on your entry on Thursday.

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  14. Lovely! I love her matter of fact approach to things. How wonderfully creepy, and I love the horses in the living room.

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  15. Love this! You've done a lot in only a few words.

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  16. There has to be some creeper repellent somewhere! I am hoping that the mom has her own story and is trying to get back to the kids. Scary!

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  17. I heart zombies (until they try to eat my insides of course). But this was really really great. I super love the tone it it. It's so...dark. Write more of it!

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  18. Ooooh I love it. Even though it's quite a still moment, it's so creepy and tense too. Awesome.

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  19. It reminds me a little of Falling Skies. Super ambiance. Very tense.

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  20. Great job of showing the child's fear and resentment that mom didn't come back for them. I hope the kids make it!

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  21. WOW, this leaves me with so many questions! An attention grabber

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  22. Excellent job!! Definitely needs expanding....

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  23. Wow, I got a great look at the narrator's personality, was easily able to grasp the situation, etc. Very well done.

    Shannon at The Warrior Muse, road tripping through the #atozchallenge participants!

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  24. How sad and scary and horrible to think of a child going through something like this. Well done!

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  25. Creepy and very well written. I liked the ending, typical thoughts of a child.

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  26. like this - especially calling them creepers; makes it creepier!

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  27. Amazing! You said so much in less then 300 words. Love the horses in the living room :D

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  28. Great voice of a teenage boy. I love the creepers, too! I very much enjoyed your story. :)

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  29. I have to agree with the commenters above, fantastic perspective... hiding from zombies as told from a child's point of view is a new take on a classic. If you keep writing this, it might help with my current Walking Dead withdrawal! ;-)

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  30. Scary story that leaves me wanting more. But about those horses, I own a horse and have cleaned stalls. That shuttered house would be pretty stinky after a couple of days. :)

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  31. Ooo, the creepers sound horrible (remind me a bit of zombies). What a terrifying world you portray here. I like it.

    I'll announce the finalists tomorrow!

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  32. Sad, yet dramatic. I hope things turn out for the better for those characters. :-)

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  33. After reading them all, and there were some REALLY great ones. I liked your story the best, I think it was all around the best as far as development, style, emotion, imagination and intrigue. So you are #1 in my book!

    Andrea

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I heart me some good comments... and pumpkin spice latte's too!