Monday, October 22, 2012

K. Lennon's Letting Go Bloghop - Fact

Express Yourself Meme entry  is here



It's time for Kyra Lennon's "Letting Go" bloghop to revel the release of her novella If I Let You Go. 

If I Let You Go - Amazon UK
If I Let You Go - Amazon.com


For my piece I am going to post a type of a journal entry.







Letting go
That’s part of life, right? How many times have we all heard a version of the timeless phrase, “Let it go, and if it comes back then it was meant to be.” And how many times have we all thought, BULLSHIT?
In my life, a few times it worked, a few times it hadn’t.

I thought and processed about what I was going to write – Letting Go. I’ve “Let Go” of plenty in my life. Loves, losses, lusts, friends, items, lives, words, moments, etcetera, etcetera.
Maybe, a piece about the guilt I have over my brother’s passing. I wasn’t in the car. I wasn’t even within two hundred miles of him. I wasn’t the driver behind the wheel. I couldn’t stop the box-truck from driving over the backseat where he was sleeping. I couldn’t tell the driver not to use the emergency turn around on the highway as a viable U-turn. I couldn’t magically dissolve the blanket of fog which covered the roads. So why do I have guilt? I’m still working on letting go. Maybe this isn’t a good example – yet.
Maybe a Letting Go success story: Divorce. Yes, it’s a bit personal but I’m ok with it.
Now I don’t need, nor do I want, a pity party here. I’m just laying out the logistics. Backstory: Parents hated him, so it pushed me even more. (Hint: Parents, if you hate the bf/gf, don’t let your kids know) He was the son of a preacher man. Age 19 - We moved in together. He said all the right things. Did I mention he was the singer of a band? A very popular band I might add.
BAM! Three pregnancy tests later, I’m pretty sure we were having a baby.

Age 20 - After seven months of dating, I’m Mrs. ______ to a man I didn’t even love. You read that right. I didn’t even love him. Remember, he’s the son of a preacher man. You know, all of that “out of wedlock” crap and my father saying, “He needs to make an honest woman out of you”. Hindsight is always 20/20.
Age 24 - Nine months after baby #2 came along, Universal Records calls, his song gets featured on American Pie 2, they went on a small tour, a stripper made her moves, he made his, and I moved on.
After I moved out, heartbreak moved in and I realize that somewhere between marriage and divorce I had fallen in love with him. When in the hell did that happen? Shit!
Letting Go.
I had made a lot of choices in my life but having the carpet ripped out from underneath me wasn’t one of them. Neither was him deciding to walk away from his children. Away from me was fine. With every piece of my life I picked up I found a new beginning. With each piece was a new promise. New love. New life.
I forgave.
Eventually I Let Go.

17 comments:

  1. Holy crap, Dani! That's a hell of a life story! I'm glad you managed to let go - but it must have been horrible knowing he left his children behind. :(

    Thanks for being part of the bloghop!

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  2. And now you have J, the perfect person for you and your children! :D

    Sorry I didn't do the meme today. I saw how you did yours and thought... I could've done it that way, if I knew how! LOL

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  3. Ouch. That sucks. It takes a big person to forgive, especially considering what was done to your kids. But you're a better person for it!

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  4. I'm so sorry about your brother. When my sweet, ridiculously talented and beautiful sister passed, I felt a tremendous amount of guilt. Why was someone as crappy as me still alive, and yet my perfect sister died? It made no sense. It wasn't my fault, but I still couldn't help how I felt. I too, had to learn to let it go.


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  5. Oh my goodness you have had some heartbreak. I can relate to the guilt you feel, it is irrational but no less real.

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  6. This was a beautiful post, and has pretty much made you my hero. Not throwing a pity party, but sending lots of virtual love :)

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  7. Hey Dani,

    Just wanted to say thanks for sharing what is obviously two big wounds in your life.

    Thanks also for your open honesty and I'm happy to hear (reading the comments) that J is in your life.

    That's all I got, except to say ((Dani))

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  8. Moving on is tough. Thanks for sharing yourself with us. I think honesty helps us let go.

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  9. This was beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time. Thank you for sharing. :HUGS:

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  10. You've definitely experienced some powerful loss. Thanks for sharing such personal things with us.

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  11. Thanks for sharing this very personal and powerful "letting-go" story.
    I'm glad that you've moved on with J... I wish the two of you everything of the best!
    I really love your attitude and writing style in this piece!
    Visiting from the blog hop.

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  12. This was very moving and very powerfully conveyed the theme of letting go. Loved it.

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  13. interesting how love works, isn't it? thanks for sharing!! blog hopping!!

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  14. Great piece, you've not had it easy but I love how you are dealing with things and your attitude in the closing lines. Thanks for sharing with us!

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  15. Hindsight really is 20/20, it would be good to have some of that at the time! I'm sorry about your brother, that is devastating. Good for you, for letting go of the wrong man for you too.

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  16. I am taking it the new love, new life, has worked out pretty good. Experience is a tough teacher, but it makes us ready for the good things. Thanks for sharing your story Dani.

    ......dhole

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  17. I have just installed iStripper, so I can watch the sexiest virtual strippers on my desktop.

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I heart me some good comments... and pumpkin spice latte's too!