K. Lennon's Letting Go Bloghop - Fact

Express Yourself Meme entry  is here



It's time for Kyra Lennon's "Letting Go" bloghop to revel the release of her novella If I Let You Go. 

If I Let You Go - Amazon UK
If I Let You Go - Amazon.com

For my piece I am going to post a type of a journal entry.

Letting go…

That’s part of life, right? How many times have we all heard a version of the timeless phrase, “Let it go, and if it comes back then it was meant to be.” And how many times have we all thought, BULLSHIT?

In my life, a few times it worked, a few times it hadn’t.

I thought and processed about what I was going to write – Letting Go. I’ve “Let Go” of plenty in my life. Loves, losses, lusts, friends, items, lives, words, moments, etcetera, etcetera.

Maybe, a piece about the guilt I have over my brother’s passing. I wasn’t in the car. I wasn’t even within two hundred miles of him. I wasn’t the driver behind the wheel. I couldn’t stop the box-truck from driving over the backseat where he was sleeping. I couldn’t tell the driver not to use the emergency turn around on the highway as a viable U-turn. I couldn’t magically dissolve the blanket of fog which covered the roads. So why do I have guilt? I’m still working on letting go. Maybe this isn’t a good example – yet.

Maybe a Letting Go success story: Divorce. Yes, it’s a bit personal but I’m ok with it.

Now I don’t need, nor do I want, a pity party here. I’m just laying out the logistics. Backstory: Parents hated him, so it pushed me even more. (Hint: Parents, if you hate the bf/gf, don’t let your kids know) He was the son of a preacher man. Age 19 - We moved in together. He said all the right things. Did I mention he was the singer of a band? A very popular band I might add.

BAM! Three pregnancy tests later, I’m pretty sure we were having a baby.

Age 20 - After seven months of dating, I’m Mrs. ______ to a man I didn’t even love. You read that right. I didn’t even love him. Remember, he’s the son of a preacher man. You know, all of that “out of wedlock” crap and my father saying, “He needs to make an honest woman out of you”. Hindsight is always 20/20.

Age 24 - Nine months after baby #2 came along, Universal Records calls, his song gets featured on American Pie 2, they went on a small tour, a stripper made her moves, he made his, and I moved on.

After I moved out, heartbreak moved in and I realize that somewhere between marriage and divorce I had fallen in love with him. When in the hell did that happen? Shit!

Letting Go.

I had made a lot of choices in my life but having the carpet ripped out from underneath me wasn’t one of them. Neither was him deciding to walk away from his children. Away from me was fine. With every piece of my life I picked up I found a new beginning. With each piece was a new promise. New love. New life.

I forgave.

Eventually I Let Go.