The Bat

Aug. 12^th, 2009 between 4am – 6:30am.

4am

Gabe: “Mom!”

Me: “What Gabe.”

Gabe: “I heard a noise.”

Me: “Gabe, it’s probably the cats. Go back to bed.”

Gabe: “All right.”

5am

Gabe: “Mom!”

Me: “What.”

Gabe: “Something is flying out in the hallway.”

Me: “Gabe, you’re dreaming. Go back to bed”

A few minutes later Gabe is standing in my doorway…

Gabe: “Mom I seen it again, there is something flying around.”

Me: “Gabe there is nothing flying away, go back to bed.”

Gabe: “Mom can I lay down in here with you?”

Me: “I don’t care. Go back to sleep, you’re killing me. If you just close your eyes, you can’t see anything flying around.”

6am

So Gabe is asleep and everything seems to be ok now. Well until I hear the cats going crazy and jumping off of furniture and what sounded like the refrigerator. So I get up to investigate.

As I am creeping out of my room I flip on the switch in the hallway and slowing make my way down the hall. At the end of the hall where it meets the living room, I see 3 of our cats staring up at the ceiling making weird chirping, growling noises. So I duck a little bit and very slowly move my hand to the light switch and turn on the lamp on the buffet. As I scan the living room I notice something flick around the kitchen ceiling and around the chandelier.

Me: “Gabe!!!!!”

Gabe: “Yeah!”

Me: “You were right, there is something in here.”

Gabe comes out of the room and stops behind me.

Gabe: “I told you.”

So I crept around in the kitchen with Gabe holding on to me, trying to see what it was but I couldn’t see anything. Then I noticed our one cat who was MIA up until this point, staring at the ceiling in the play room… in the DARK play room. All I could see was his eyes. I squint my eyes and notice that he is in a crouched position, looking up, and making this horrible snarling sound. I got down on the floor, crawled to the entry way and dragged my hand up to the switch on the wall. I quickly flipped the switch and flew back on my butt. At this point I’m struggling to get back on my feet cause this black terrifying bat…yes, I said bat…was heading for my face. Seriously I think he wanted to kill me. This is where it gets funny.

Me: **Screaming**

Gabe: **Screaming**

Alexis and Kylar come running out of their rooms. Alexis had been awake listening to us so I have no idea why she was running towards the screaming but at least it shows me that she was somewhat brave. I use the word somewhat because when she was running towards us she had this frantic look on her face and screaming just as loud as Gabe and me. Kylar had been sound asleep, so when he came out, he wasn’t screaming, he was more like a warrior cry, and that little cutie of mine had some sort of object in his hands like he was going to blugger it to death.

Me: “Run to a room and shut the doors”

Alexis: “What is it?”

Me: “A bat, now run to your room”

At this point I am grabbing a throw and swinging it around me like a cape. I wrap it around my head and cover myself with it. I look down the hallway and notice that Gabe looks like he is doing this sort of dance. (You find out why later). He throws his hands up in the air and runs in to Alexis’ room with the other two.

Gabe: “Mom, come in here”

Me: “I can’t I have to watch this thing, and I need to get to a phone”

The bat flies at my head again so I dropped to the floor. I hit the floor so hard that I skinned my knee. I did a half-assed army crawl (due to the 7 month pregnancy belly à I haven’t mentioned that up until this point, huh) to my purse to get my cell. I wasn’t about to stand up to reach for the cordless, are you crazy?!! So I sat up and at this point that damn brave ass cat jumped, what seemed like, 8 feet in the air, caught the bat and started biting it and this was all happening about a foot away from me. So I was screaming, the cat was wrestling with a bat, and the bat was squeaking. I called my husband at work (he worked 3^rd at the time) and told him to get his ass home cause there was a bat.

Justin: “How did a bat get in the house?”

Me: “I have no idea but there wasn’t one when you left, will just get here.”

The cat lets the bat go (dumb cat) and it flies into the foyer. I can tell that it is up on the ceiling cause the cat can’t seem to get to it. I go in to Alexis’ room and find the kids on the bed shaking.

Me: “Gabe, what were you doing out there? Dancing?”

Gabe: “You told us to go to a room and then you said shut the doors. I didn’t know which one to do first so I just gave up.”

LOL, that kid kills me.

Justin (my husband) gets home and all we can hear is…

SMASH “F@ck!!”

CRASH “Mother F@cker”

WHAM “Son-of-a-b!tch”

I go out to the living room to see what the heck he was doing. He tells me that he caught it in the laundry basket but it flew out through the holes in it. But I really couldn’t concentrate on what he was saying cause he looked all medieval. With a glove on one hand and a basket in the other, he looked like he was holding a shield and his sword (can we say knight in shining armor). So I handed him a trash can and I headed back in to the room with the kids.

Justin: “I got, it’s out!!!”

Me: “What! You were supposed to catch and kill it.

Justin: “Whatever, I wasn’t going to take the chance of getting bit.”

I just agreed and walked away, took a shower and finished getting ready for work. And then he left and went back to work as well. And that’s what happened this morning.

Copyright 2009